Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Being me #4

You know why do I stay quiet and ignore people most of the time??

It's either one of us is mad to the other, resulting me, to say silent to avoid creating even a spark of anger, either it comes from me, or the other person. I don't even make any face, I don't even pout as I used to do; I just do my own things, talk to some people if I need it, and that's all. Fullstop.

Why are you trying so hard to make me pissed off, and let me blow my mind with your unreasonable words?? You don't even know what's going on, you just come running to me, saying those things. My confidence had totally collapsed by your stupid choices of words. I cried all night long, and I even hurt both my eyes.

The downside of a F, when she cries, especially the one with her heart out, she would have serious headache and non-stop runny nose. She can't avoid from ignoring the PCM pills on her table, thus taking 2 of them. So that at least the tears would stop, the nose would be clean and the head would be clear. SO AT LEAST she could sleep well without sobbing anymore.

The worst night of my life.

People stare at me like I started everything. I don't care, I don't even give a damn of how you're looking at me differently. I try so hard not to judge people, not to be judged back like that. Anyhow, whatever!

When I'm stressed out, all the bad and painful memories, whether they're related or not to my current situation, come back into my mind. I can't stop them. All I know, I start crying for another reason and keep blaming myself for everything that has happened.

Remember, I'm annoying, I have bad-ass attitude, I'm 90 percent crazy, and I'm rebellious most of the time, at heart. SO, without further a do, you may want to think twice or more, before approaching the tiny circle of me.

That's all.

With that, I thank you.

F says :

Holding on.

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