Monday, November 30, 2009

Kisah Ini 2

Salam untuk semua.

Hari ini, nak buat sesi luahan hati dan perasaan. Sesiape rasa muak + loya + nak termuntah, F nasihatkan, tak payah baca. Tak payah jeling pun.

Ini adalah satu pengakuan.

F minat seseorang. Min?? Ya, dia memang saya sayang+minat+gila sampai tak ingat dunia.

Tapi, yang F maksudkan di sini, bukan Min, ok?!

Dah lama kenal dengan my crush ni. Sejak Form 1 lagi. Tapi masa tuh, memang takde nak feelim2 la, sebab bukan satu kelas pun, so whaddaheck nak sebok hal mamat ni. Ceh, m-a-m-a-t~~

Mula kenal lebih dekat, sebenarnya lepas SPM. Cerita ni memang macik kesayangan aka Zaty aka my current rumet dah tau. And some other people, too. YM, chat, itu sume biaselar. He's totally a different person when YMing with me. I'm not sure, whether this applied to other girls, too, but I guessed, it went the same for all.

There, I found out how nice he was. And he still is. Cume mulut dia, tak bleh nak berenti menghentam orang. Ade je nak mengena. And we'd become the so-called good friends.

Until one time, suddenly, F rase dah macam developed some kind of this weird feeling. You name it, because I believe, you must know what this feeling is all about.

F lupe camne bleh tibe2 stop YMing ngan die. All I knew was that before I entered CenFoS IIUM, F masih ok ngan dia. Kot.

FYI, kami tak kapel ok?? No kapel2 la, sebab kami kan good friends. Silapnya pada F jugak, sebab ada perasaan camni. Memang serius benci giler perasaan tuh, sebab F tau, we'll make the best of friends, if and only if I've no feeling at all towards him, except for a friend's love.

Rase cam bodoh giler. Tak gitu?? Only then, F baru faham ape perasaan Mr. L aka my best guy friend since Form 3, when he texted me about his feelings a year later. I'm sorry, Mr L, for hurting you. How I wished things would get back to normal, just like before. It was the SWEETEST friendship I'd ever had in my life!!

Okay, back to the story. Satu semester pertama, F dapat elak daripada jumpa dia. I'd even deleted his name from my YM list, how cruel was that. Sebab F takmo ade feeling kat dia dah. I wondered if he ever wondered why I didn't YM him for some time, but I don't think so. Sebab he never added me back later on. I don't know whether he knows what's going on and just pretends nothing actually happens. I don't know. F takde kuasa psikik nak baca minda, hati dan pikiran orang. Mungkin, dia pun malas nak pikir2 nape orang yang takde makna ini, buat camtuh kat die.

The next semester, came the real disaster. Surprisingly, got a class with this guy. Urgh!! Mase tuh, Allah saje tahu betape F control giler, bukan control ayu ok, control, hurm..adelar..macam2. Sampai satu masa, I almost broke to tears sebab tak tahan dengar a good friend of mine asek2 crita, about how close they were. And they still are. How this guy never missed texting her, calling her to tell every bits of his life until his credit was all out. And me, myself being lucky, dengar all the bits of his and her stories, when we contacted each other.

F mula tau F memang btol2 ade perasaan gini, when I felt jealous towards her. Tapi F takbleh marah kat this girl, coz dia crushed on mamat ni, lagi lamer dari F baek ngan mamat itu. And this girl is waaaaaaaay better, more gentle, more motherly, sweeter than yours truly.

So whose fault is that??


It's none other than ME.


So, dear all my beloved ones, jangan marah kalau F tak nak mula dulu or whatsoever. Besides, I hate being the first to start a relationship, be it with guys or girls. Call me cowardice or what, that's just me, being one. Jangan ditanya kenape F deleted his YM and phone number, because, me, myself couldn't figure ot why I'd ever did that in the first place.

Entahlah~~

Dah malas nak pikir2 lagi.

Dahla akan jumpe dia lagi, sebab CenFoS ni bukannya besar gedabak pun nak men lari jauh2. Nak tak nak, kena tengok gak muke dia sooner or later.

Ape yang F tau, F tak layak dan tak sesuai untuk dia. Noktah!







FImin berkata:
Jangan sape2 yang tau, sebut nama inche itu kat sini, tolonglah...
Kalau tau tuh, wat2 tak tau je la ek..
Melainkan kamu memang dah tak sayang diri ini lagi..sob3



6 comments:

dayah aziz said...

halooo..
nice blog...
visit mine ok..=p

cik zatil said...

hi dear visit here..

be strong dear! cik zatil pon penah
hadapi situasi y sama..

memang sedih sgt2 bila jadi mcm tu, berpura-pura sgt depan orang len..

kuatkan semangat! i know u can do it!
one more thng..u nid to be cool..

ada jodoh tak kemana semua tu ditangan tuhan..

btw, nice to meet u dear!

afiqah said...

dayah aziz:

nice blog too!!
thanx for visiting..
teratak buruk lagi usang je ni..

afiqah said...

cik zatil:

well, mmg ngah try be strong..
ingatkan arituh dah kuat, tp xsgka jumpe die lg n trus lemah blek..
adohai~~

cik zatil said...

fikah memang susah nak lupakan semua tu dan ambil masa ..

i've faced de same situation.. siyes..sgt sgt down nk berhadapan dgn si die time tuh..

yang paling haru time my best friend tunjuk kan mesej si die hantar..

kite mgkin tak dapat nk paksa seseorang tu mencintai kita tapi dear perasaan tu dtg sendiri..

berdoa laa kat tuhan DIA maha mendengar..

satu lg, fikah ada family & kwn2 yg leh support fikah untuk avoid urself from thinking bot him..

u can do it bebeh! ;)

afiqah said...

thanx again cikzatil..
cian kamoo..
lg truk dr sy..
siap tgk msj real..
alhamdulillah..
fmili n kwn2 sntiasa ade..
so, dpt get rid of him la sket2..