Thursday, January 29, 2009

hurm

i just want to make it sweet and simple.
happy birthday to me..
selamat ulang tahun, wahai diriku sayang..

thanks a lot to those who remembered..

>those who sms-ed me right after 12.00 last night
>those who sent comments through my friendster
>my pktr 07 friends who had thought of me..you guys ROCK like always..
>those who came to class, shook my hand and hugged me..praying me the best..
>my core coursemates, who sang sweet birthday songs with lots of versions..
>my roomie, zaty, who got me a bar of black forest cadbury, which reminded me to someone back in my schooldays..
>my special loved ones-abah, mama, opah, angah, iwe and adik, really touched my heart on my birthday morning with their call..iHEARTyou..

what i want from my 19th so-called birthday..
::i want to act more matured
::i want to focus more on my studies
::i want to love and be loved..spread the LOVE, people!!
::i want to go home..desperately..=[
::i want to hug all my friends, can I??
::i want to think..??
::i want to be blessed always by Allah, all the time, Aamiin..

~f~
nak dsc t77 satu?? [;

Monday, January 26, 2009

..

oh, i surrender. i am way too hectic to write down all stories of my life.
sorry ya..i've tried, but i've failed.

p/s: my 19th birthday is coming in two days' time.

~f~

life is..

i wrote this using a red ballpen on my testpad while crying. and i didn't remember much why did i cry. seriously.

25/01/2009

i want to tell you a secret. it's my untold stories.

i didn't know how far could i go or even how long could i stand anymore. when one time, i felt like winning and the victory was all mine, all of a sudden, a moment after it, was the feeling of losing, frustrating and disappointing. i did feel sometimes, liked to give up on everything. but i just couldn't, what stopped me, i didn't know.

what was life meant for me, if my presence was just to hurt others' feelings? oh, i was so unpredictable, hard to be understood.

i wanted the arms that used to be around me, to hold me back, to make me realised that how precious and meaningful my life used to be.

i wanted to lay my head on someone's chest, to calm me down, to let me closed my eyes for a moment and forgot the black clouds that kept hovering above me.

i wanted to have someone with a 'real' crying shoulder, so that i could cry my hearts out, pouring down all the troubles away from me.

i thought, i had actually lost them all. they ran away, maybe, but it could be my faults, too, forcing them to keep a distance from me.

to en satu,

i always loathed the thought when i already got your name carved on my heart, then i had to wash away all the sweet memories, for someone else.

i hated myself for making foolish mistakes and regretting them later on.

i was just so unlucky, he's not my knight in the shining armour.

i never hated my life, neither to love it.

life is..ah..so complicated to define.

~f~
urm..

Friday, January 23, 2009

owh..

went out to mydin today. the traffic was damn congested with cars from all directions. the journey which normally took us for only 30 minutes, got us for an hour because of the traffic jam.

this morning when me and wa were on our way to reading class, i actually bumped into that engineering guy named syafiq. woohoo. boy, was i wrong! he's so tall, wearing a black shirt. but, my heart didn't fluttered at all. at least, he made my day and i actually had the reason to smile in spite of me, losing my slippers when i got back to my room at 1.30a.m..

on the way back, we went through the plaza because i needed to withdraw some money for today's outing. in front of stad, as i was to turn around, i was almost hit someone, that to my surprise, was en satu. ah, so embarrassing.

okay, it's not the end yet.

after we hopped off the bus and crossed the road, at the main gate, i saw lam from afar. my heart jumped in excitement. and we met qim, too. he looked so plain.

~f~
oh, so happy to meet my crushes..haha[evil smile]

Sunday, January 18, 2009

january people

0201
~nek aka armim~

0301
~lex~

0401
~k'billa~

1101
~mc yunn~

1401
~tullah~

1501
~sir is~
~che niey~

1601
~mc jue~
~huda~

1801
~mc ah~

2101
~che mas~

2401
~ann~

2601
~faiz aimullah~

2801
~YOURS TRULY~

3001
~mc yah~
~syam~

Ya ALLAH
Sahabat saya buah hati saya
Mesra kami penawar duka
Rindu kami menambah cinta
Rajuk kami membuah ceria

Ya ALLAH
Silaturrahim kami, ukhuwah fillah
Bermusuh kami, na'udzubillah
Berpisah kami, innalillah

Ya ALLAH
Rahmati kami meniti usia
Terpisah kami di alam nyata
Temukan kami di taman syurga

Aamiin..

Happy birthday to you all, people
May ALLAH bless you always and forever
and..
don't forget..
you're another year older..
woohoo..

lots of love, misses, hugs and kisses..
~f~


p/s : anyone else i missed??!!

i know, i know, my blog is a little bit confusing.

well, please..be patient.

after i cover all parts of my life into one piece, then i'll try my best to blog properly??

ow-kay people??!

this morning's going to be qiyamullail[lead-train programme]

~f~
should go to sleep by the very right now.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

08012009

i went earlier to the chemistry class this morning. while i waited for my lecturer and my other friends to arrive, my stomach ached. i wondered if i had food poisoning, but i really didn't think so. was just i because i ate extra piece of bread, then my tummy turned like this??

the 2-hour class was at least not bad for me. i could still concentrate, while bearing the pain inside my tummy. as the class ended, i felt like going to the toilet, but then, i figured why the so-called stomachache suddenly came??wooho. yeah, i knew it. i thought i could stand to go for another hour of physics class, but, i told wa that i couldn't wait any longer, because the pain was still inside me. so, i skipped class and went back to my room to get some rest.

i really wanted to finish 2 more chapters of biology, but i just had one only. i started to have muscle cramps inside my tummy and also at my back and legs. so, i decided that, I SHOULD SLEEP.

i was not fully recovered when i went to writing class that evening. but, i was just OKAY, i guessed.

then, came the bio2 exam. muscle cramps attacked again and in that amf hall, i suffered, both from pain and stress. i was all blank. totally, seriously i'm telling you. i felt like crying, shouting and etc.

as i came back to my room, i could still pretend that i was 'ow-kay'. then, when my dad rang, i suddenly burst into tears and stammered. i could not speak, just crying, all i could do, was telling him few words, that i was all lost, totally L.O.S.T..

everything went back to normal and me and my roomies, chatted until 3.30 in the morning since our classes, all started at 10.

at least, i felt like the burden had gone, even it's just for a while.

~f~
preparing for the W.O.R.S.T

07012009

since last night[06012009], i spent most of my time studying for chemistry.
the exam would be tonight, so i guessed i worked quite hard, even it's not as hard as others.

the venue was at sm building, quite far from my mahallah. plus, we had to wait for the elevator to get us up to the forth floor. we arrived just few minutes before it started.

~f~
i'd tried my best..

06012009

bio2 quiz for chapter 4.
not bad.

evening: LS group presentation [me, wa, madi n mira].

poor mira. she was to help us, but was misunderstood as to dominate the discussion.
and madam mar was quite strict today.

04012009

i started revising biology 2.
the mid-sem exam will be on this thursday[08012009].

xoxo
bio is F.U.N!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

03012009

f dah nak balik. f dapat tiket siang sebab tiket malam dah pun habis. f nak naik sani ekspres, jadi nak ke tak nak, sani ekspres hanya ada perjalanan siang. ah, mesti f akan naik gila kebosanan. dah lah masa nak balik ke kelantan hari itu, dah bosan sangat2.

selepas solat subuh, f tak tidur balik, macam hari2 biasanya. iyalah, f dah nak balik naik bas pukul 9.30 pagi, takkanlah nak tidur balik kot. f kata kat diri sendiri, tak mengapa, qadha tidur atas bas nanti. nak tidur sepanjang perjalanan pun tak kisah.

pagi tu, mama masak bihun goreng pedas. kegemaran f. f makan 2,3 pinggan juga lah. 1, sebab f lapar, 1 lagi, sebab lepas ni mana nak cari masakan mama. hurm, yummy2. sambil makan, tengok drama korea hujung minggu kat 8tv-snow queen.best jugak lah citer tuh.

asyik punya ralit, masa pun berlalu. f tak siapkan diri lagi. jadik, f cepat2 makan dan bersiap2. mama banyak kali jenguk bilik angah, tapi dia tidur lagi. pasti tak nak pergi hantar f lah tu. sebab semalam tu, kami gaduh kecil. biaselah, dah same2 keras kepala. tapi mama tak tahu la. kalau tak, dah lama kami kene bebel kot. woohoo.

lepas salam opah, kami berangkat ke stesen kat jalan hamzah sebelah kb mall. tapi, mase tuh, hujan renyai2. tempat berteduh pun dah basah, mungkin sebab tempias kot. f angkat beg letak atas tempat duduk tuh. sebaik f pusing, f nampak syuk. brother yang aina minat. f tahu die orang kelantan sebab mase nak balik raye, f kan kene tukar bas. mase tuh, die lah pic bas yang f naek tuh.

f kate tak pelah. mungkin die tunggu bas mutiara atau mahligai kot sebab masa tuh memang banyak bas mutiara. f berpaling untuk duduk di tempat yang menghadap jalan raya. jadi, dah tak payah tengok muka si syuk tu lagi.

dah 9.30, tapi bas tak sampai2 lagi. mama tengah borak ngan mak orang. abah, iwan dan adik ade duduk2 dengan f. abah beli suratkhabar. f pesan beli metro untuk f sekali sebab nak baca atas bas.

dalam pukul 10pagi camtuh, bas sani ekspres datang 3 sekali gus. f berpaling dan nampak syuk tuh masih ade lagi kat situ. f kate matilah aku kalau satu bas dengan mamat sorang ni. pada masa sama, kat hujung sebelum bas masuk, f nampak qim. pelik gak. qim orang kelantan?? pertama kali f nampak die kat sini. die naek bas sani gak, sebaik die naek bas tu trus blah.

abah pun sibuk siket nak letak beg f. sekali dengan syuk tuh. rupenya, syuk naek bas same ngan f.
f tengok tiket, hurm, agak2nye, tempat duduk f kat atas kot sebab nombor seat besar sangat. no 36. f pun beratur lah nak naek bas lepas salam ngan sume. selang 2,3 orang, syuk kat depan f. f naek dan periksa tiket dan pakcik tu cakap f duduk kat bawah. ohh. f masuk kat kawasan bawah dan mata f trus melilau pada tempat duduk belakang, nak tengok syuk duduk mane. pastuh, sebaik f pusing ke kanan, f trus namapk die. nombor seat tuh 36-37. syuk duduk kat tepi tingkap. nak tak nak, f kena duduk tepi. dah lah kat depan plak tu. agak2 mana f tak tensen.

kami sama2 baca suratkhabar. sama2 metro lak tuh. aih, kesian lak kat aina. asyik2 f yang kene dengan die. mungkin Allah nak jadikan f perantara aina dan syuk kot. f redha je lah. tapi f rase tak selesa sangat. sebab kami tak de nak tegur ape2 kot. tapi kan f rase, since die dak dq, agak impossible tok die tegor f. f plak, tak la memalukan dirik sendiri tok tegor luh.

tak pe la. tengah jalan, hujan lebat. air naek. tapi bas kami bleh lepas. f ngantuk sangat2. tapi f tataw nak tidow camne. f pom pk, tdow je la. pe kesah ngan die. sebab arap2 pasni, dah tak payah kene jpe die dah. bile f ngantuk je, f tidow. f buat tak kisah je ngan die kat sebelah f. bile f bangun, f buat2 rajen nak baca novel mercy yang dah berbulan terlambak kat rak buku.

tetiba tengah jalan, f rase lapar sangat. tu lar, ma dan opah suruh bawak bekal, f tak nak. kununnye bleh tahan. tapi f sangat tak tahan rase lapar. pe la, perut ni wat perngai ngade2 la tuh.

sampai kat merapoh, berenti kat tempat sani. f g solat jamak zuhur dan asar. bile f dah kua dari toilet, f tengok die dah siap solat. yela, kalau dah name pom jamak ngan qasar, kejap je. lagipun, f dh berjam2 kat toilet since ramai orang masa tuh.

lepas solat, f ingat nak cari makanan ringan2 siket. tapi situ restoran je ade, mana ade kedai runcit. alah, bengang tol. f lapar macam dah nak pecah perot. f doa, janganlah sakit perut macam masa last day spm arituh. siksa dowh.

lupe nak cite, kua dari surau, f nampak qim. die pandang f, tapi f wat bodo jek. tak leh blah ar mamat tuh, asek nak gatal jek. f pun nak diushakannya. woohoo.

naek atas bas, f duduk2. minum air je. ble bas dah stat nak jalan, org sebelah tuh, selamber je makan kek apollo. habis la 2,3 peket gak. kalo la org laen, dah lame f buat muka tataw malu, mitak satu. entahla, kalo dah namenye pun ego+malu itu menebal, sampai bile2 f rela tahan lapar dan saket pewot.

habis makan, die dengan selamber lagi, tarik langsir, nak tidow. alaa, xleh blah btolla. f xngantuk dan nak sambung bace novel nih. naseb bek la, ade la cahaya siang sket2. bleh la bace.

f sgt xsabar2 nak sampai kat putra neh. rase macam nak cepat2 blah.

sampai je putra dalam pukul 6.15 petang, f trus turun amek beg ngan die pun ade skali. f bawak beg dan trus blah. f tataw die ke mana coz die jalan duluh. jpe ngan paklang, trus naek keta dan balek ke cfs.

sampai sane, jerit kat aina, 'LAPAR!!'. serius f lapar!! aina gelak je time f cite nightmare tuh. xleh blah la. pe nye kawan yang gelakkan f yang melalui 8jam yang sgt menyeksakan.

f dah tak nak jumpe die lagi.

tolonglah..

f rase nak pakai topeng je kalau terjumpe ngan die.

xoxo
malunyee...

01012009

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009

MAY THIS YEAR BRINGS MORE SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS TO ALL OF US

xoxo
~f~



fever

i had fever+flu somewhere between during my mid-sem break. but i just couldn't figure it when.

xoxo
sorry

30122008

we're going to husm [me, wa, far and en.satu]. to the psychiatry clinic to meet prof. jamil, the head of psychiatric department. we were to interview him regarding schizophrenia, the problem-based-learning assignment for biology 2.

me and was arrived earlier, but the other two were quite late. as soon as all of us gathered, we went straight to the clinic. the prof. asked us to interview his patient first, a 20-year-old lady. she looked shy and we tried hard enough to cheer the atmosphere. en. satu with his not so funny jokes, for the least made her comfortable. i didn't know why, but i loved the way he made himself and her comfortable with each other.

after an hour, we went to the professor back, this time, with afzan joining us, and the professor was the one who asked questions to us. we spent an hour there, too. en. satu was quiet at most of the time there. i didn't know why.

then, we're off to get our lunch [me+wa+afzan].

after that, we went to my mom's room. and chatted for a while.

i called my dad to get me home, together with wa, while afzan was going to meet a doctor there. while waiting for my dad, i could still see en.satu was still waiting, maybe for someone to pick him up.

then, i was at home with wa.

xoxo
no longer saw him
he actually rang me yesterday for today's[3012208] matter.

29122008

TODAY IS A NEW START OF HIJRIYYAH YEAR.

1 MUHARRAM 1430.

IT IS TIME FOR ME TO HIJRAH TO BE A MUCH BETTER PERSON IN LIFE AND HEREAFTER.

29122008

TODAY IS A NEW START OF HIJRIYYAH YEAR.

1 MUHARRAM 1430.

IT IS TIME FOR ME TO HIJRAH TO BE A MUCH BETTER PERSON IN LIFE AND HEREAFTER

xoxo
~f~

27122008

it was an exam day. english reading mid sem for level 6 students. it was supposed to start at 9.30, but due to some things that we couldn't avoid, it only started at 9.45 and would end at 11.15. woohh, it was tough and i guessed i sweated in the coldness of air-conditioned amf hall.

as it ended, i was already prepared to go home for mid-sem break. i packed last night and couldn't wait any longer to go to putra terminal. did i tell you that this time, i was going home, accompanied with 3 other girls and 4 guys?? well, i guessed, now you knew it.

me, tiqah, aina and kema went out first. we queued to get taxi and there were some stupidos and idiotas passed in front of us and waved for the taxi. cihh..[memang nak kena n carik pasal ngan f la nih]. but we're lucky enough that the next taxi was ours. haha. felt like we conquered the world. woohoo.

aina called don to tell that we're already off to putra. they said that they're going to be a little bit late. so as we reached putra, we went for the mall to get some food. and kema got new shoes as we stopped by at a shop. woohoo. we had our so-called brunch[breakfast and lunch] at kfc.and waited for the guys to come.

they finally came and we're just finished our brunch. we went upstairs to perform our dzuhur and asar jama' and qasar solahs. our trip would be on 2.30p.m. so we walked away from the mall as soon as we finished. the guys were already there, waiting for us. we hopped into the bus and off we go!!!

but seriously, the day trip was so damn boring, and the boredom almost killed me to death!! i even texted krie who was just a seat behind me!! i slept and woke up for several times and turned to the left just to see aina's face again and again. in the middle of our journey, teacher rozi actually called en. satu and then talked to krie who sat next to each other. don and farisham were just behind us.

we stopped somewhere in merapoh[because different buses stopped at different places in merapoh]. i just managed to get 2 bars of danone's chocolate biscuits because i was running out of money. woohoo.

as we entered kelantan[yahoo!!], we stopped again at gua musang's R&R to perform maghrib solah. me and aina were the latest persons to enter the bus back. the guys even made us a joke. i noticed that the guys had changing their seats and en. satu was just right behind me. they were watching madagascar 2 on his laptop. laughing here and there, i guesses we were the noisiest gang on the bus!! it was fun and enjoyable to get home together with them, because i knew that those guys[even any guy] from our alma mater were protective enough, maybe that's why i didn't feel awkward at all!!

when we reached machang, all the girls but me, went down. and the guys took the advantage to disturb me, the only girl left. but, i felt no offense pun. then, en. satu asked me whether i wanted to stop at kubang kerian or kb. then i scolded him back[in a good way] because i had asked the pakcik before and the guys made fun of it. so, i told him that served him right. he just laughed and said that he had no idea when i asked that pakcik. oh, was that so?

so, i asked krie, where he wanted to stop and he decided that it was at kb. so, i just followed him lah. en. satu still wanted to try asked the pakcik tho. me and krie chatted about our favourite korean boys, who else, DBSK/TVXQ/Tohoshinki/DongBangShinKi. and en. satu sat clueless. he even admitted that he had no idea at all about what we were talking about.

we finally reached kb and en. satu went to ask the pakcik. he told me that the pakcik refused to go there after i asked him. so, all three of us just waited in front of the telekom centre. krie's sister appeared soon and he left two of us there[but there were still a lot of people, right behind us, okay?!]. i saw him kneeling and he actually changed his contact lenses to his spectacles! i was quite mad at him by saying that it might cause infection to his eyes. but, he just ignored me and told me that he was used to it.

we talked a lot. i told him that my dad got my brother a set of ps2. he even suggested why didn't we take xbox? well, it's way too expensive and with ps2 alone, i guessed it could keep my brother homed. he advised to tell my brother to take care of his eyes during playing ps2 as he explained that he wore spectacles as a result of playing too much computer games. i just could laugh at him. but it was so sweet that he was there with me.

my family arrived at about 10pm. so i had to leave him there.

xoxo
we're going to meet again..

25122008

i know, i know, it's WAAAAAAYYY too late to post. but well, it's my blog, ayte?! so, i gues it's never too late for me to post anything that i got in mind.

okay. straight to the point.

since that day was a public holiday, we, too, here in cfs, were in holiday too, me, aina and wa decided that we went hanging out, where else if not in MV. since it was going to be our last hangout for the year of 2008, because we were going back on the upcoming saturday.

if you could see the atmosphere there in MV, it was so joyous, that i felt a little bit envy. why?? because christmas was celebrated more colourful than our eidul fitr. it looked quite unfair..if you walked around there, every center of it, had at least two huge christmas trees.

okay, fine. maybe when the time i walked to MV during the last eidul fitr, it was already a week after it. so, no bother-lah, i guess. but still, i was not satisfied.

we hanged out at my favourite place, mph. i finished 3 comics there, until it was almost dzuhur prayer. wa asked us to go prayed first before we continued with anything. so, we looked for the surau. then, since all of us were craving for food, we decided to go for kfc. simple and fast. but, it was so damn crowded.

we had no other choice, except to go upstairs, to the food court. it was the same, a horde of people crowded the place. but, we're not going down again, just to face with disappointment. there, i figured out that i was the only one to take heavy food. aina and wa just shared abc dessert. i took a big plate of briyani rice with masala chicken [yummy2]. costed me almost rm10. woohoo!! but it was satisfying and i was FULL and BLOATED!

on the way down, i stopped at several shops to look around for new cameras and computer gadgets. but, the rest didn't seem interested to join me. so, i went alone. they just sat somewhere on the bench.

before we're going back, wa insisted to get herself a box of kfc. so i accompanied aina to get some donuts. she refused big apple, but instead took a box of 6 dunkin's donuts.

and we were ready to go home [in cfs-lah, of course]. met syamsul, pidot and their friends. we went for the same bus. reached cfs at the same time as asar time.

and me, full and bloated to the night. i could still smell the curry sauce on my hand. woohoo.

xoxo
full+bloated

Thursday, January 1, 2009

home..??!

yeah, i was home for almost a week already. i had a lot to tell but because my laziness had its control over me, most of the time, i refused to post any update.

yesterday, i had quite a serious bouts, which at the same time, limited my ability to breathe properly. i had mild fever, and i refused to take pcm, even my dad insisted that i better took it. no, i didn't take it at all. well, the pcm excess will stay in your body for about five years, plus the effects it will give to my beloved liver. NO, i won't risk my organs. LOL.

alhamdulillah, it actually has 'hikmah' beneath those things. well, it's NEW YEAR, and Allah gives me the chance to have a 'NEW' me.

i intend to have a new haircut by today before i get back to pj, again this saturday morning. urgh, exams!! they await me to have a great torture on my mind, body and soul. 'thanks, ya!'

right now, i have a very short breath and i'm feeling 'something' tight on my chest. it doesn't hurt, but you'll feel like you've just finished a 100-m run.

xoxo
i'm tired..